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                 Yes, I am a big bucket hat guy

Tom Cole

In August of 2022 I finally found the courage within myself to use my voice and create this podcast.

I know... everyone and their mother has a podcast nowadays. Starting one isn't exactly courageous or special. But I genuinely believed this one would be special. 

I really thought that I could be a unique light in the world for people. Albeit for all the wrong reasons... I just didn't know it at the time.

I can still remember where I was and what I was doing the first time someone said yes to one of my cold emails. It was 9 pm on a Friday, they had wrote back and said "you good meet at 2 pm tomorrow?" I immediately said yes and subsequently stayed up all night learning about their life and their work. Come 2 pm the next day, the rush I felt from hearing "wow you really did your research" was euphoric.

That's all it took to convince myself that I was in the right place. From there it was like a game. Who can I get on this week? Who do they know that I can connect with after that? What can I learn about them that will shock them in an interview? What is the positive theme people need to get from this interview?

But, there was one other question that as much as I didn't want to admit it trumped them all.

How is this interview going to benefit my desire for attention and admiration?

I knew something was wrong in December of 2023. I had interviewed people I could never even imagine. Had incredibly thought provoking, deep conversations like no other.

And yet I felt nothing. No joy, happiness, fulfillment. Nothing.

I felt the need to stop posting for a while. Deep down I knew why - it was the lack of attention and admiration. Still didn't want to admit it though.

In that time off, I finally picked up my Bible. As someone who claimed (as still does claim) to be a Christian, I had never actually read the word of God. Once I started, my whole perspective on my motivations began to change. What really clicked for me was a passage from Matthew 6:

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full."

I really thought that I could be a unique light in the world for people. But not because I believed in the message. I believed in the reward of being seen. I did receive my reward in full - and it left me feeling completely empty.

In this next chapter of life and this journey, I will not make the same mistake again.

I want to use this podcast to be a humble servant.

I have no desire to do this for attention any longer. I want it to solely be for the love of others. 

Shedding led on aspects of this world that plague our hearts. Sharing stories of triumphant victories and overcoming darkness.

Having genuine conversation and creating a genuine connection with anyone I meet through this experience. 

If you are reading this and you are someone considering coming on the show or someone who could become a potential listener of the show, thank you for taking the time to read all of this. 

It is a gift to have the opportunity to create something like this, even if everyone and their mom is doing it too. A gift I never want to take for granted again.